Blind Faith
by ButterflyPsyche
Summary: TyKa 'You're ruining me life' I shouted heatedly, 'Why don't you leave then' snarled Kai 'I can't,' I began stumbling on words...'I just can't.'
1. Chapter 1

Blind Faith

**Butterfly Psyche**

**Disclaimer**

Chapter one

Someone asked me the other day whether Kai preferred boys or girls. I was standing next to Rei at the time, holding that icy glass of lemon mulch in that hot arid room, listening to the pulsing beat of the background music drilling a hole through my skull, (I've never been one for rap, call me whatever you want but it just does nothing for me) and somehow, for some reason, the question really bothered me.

I've known Kai for about- what? Five years now? It never really entered my mind that he preferred any sort of gender, hell, it wasn't so much the question, more of the shocking reality that in my mind Kai wasn't into anything at all. Some how my image of Kai never included his personal life- sure, he obviously must have one, I mean look at the guy, dark hair, smooth skin, beautiful mouth, gorgeous intense eyes and a youthful body to match. He knows he's stunning too, he's not stupid, but he doesn't particularly care either. People will stop, turn and stare when he comes in a room, silence quickly descending on all of the inhabitants.

But the most he ever does is raise an eyebrow and shrug his shoulders nonchalantly with an amused expression lingering in the sparkling intensity of his eyes.

I stood for a moment, with the lemon drink half way to my mouth, lost for words as I grappled with this insane concept of Kai; a Kai I had never seen before.

The funny thing about Kai and me, (me being of course Tyson Granger) is that despite all the disputes and spat's we always end up having, somehow, inevitably Max always says, end up being drawn back together closer then before. The thing is I like Kai, not always, when I first met him I thought he was a jerk, and an arrogant one at that to, and to some extent he still is, he always will be- it's inbred I suppose, something about class systems and rules or hierarchy that I simply don't understand.

But I really do admire him, his integrity if you will, and that solid determination to get what he wants, in a funny way you can always depend on him to be there when you really need him. I guess I like that, the older we got, the closer we became. It's always Kai and Tyson now, never Tyson and Kai, but always Kai and Tyson, as if that proves some point- I don't know when it happened, or when I got so comfortable being around him. I learnt after a while, that he doesn't always talk with his mouth, Kai Hiwatari has a silent language that he expresses through a slight tilt of the head, a narrowing of the eyes or simply the way in which he might lean against the wall, as if to say "Oh really?".

"Which does he prefer?" the young female pestered, her face blushing slightly, although that may have been due to the heat of the air, or whether or not she was embarrassed at airing her own desires. I remember looking at Rei, who was looking at me with his yellow cat like eyes, a rather interested expression darting across his mouth, as though examining my reaction to confirm some sort of suspicion.

"Does he like guy's?" she continued, pressing herself closer to me as a wave of movement caught up on the dance floor, the music raised in volume and tempo and I found myself blinking my thoughts into focus again.

"Why are you-?"

She looked at me desperately; she was a pretty little thing, long waist length red hair and grey eyes, with a petite figure and beautifully shaped hands.

"I've been trying all night to find out if he likes me," she wrung her hands in frustration about her chest; I should of guessed, welcome to the thronging hordes of Kai Hiwatari admirers.

"He told me to ask you."

"Ask me what?"

She flushed deeper, her skin matching the flaming crimson of her long hair, "To ask you who he likes."

"How the hell should I know?" I shouted suddenly and very angrily, the girl looked at me, her grey eyes large and repentant, Rei was looking at me again from the corner of his eyes, I disliked that look, it was the 'I knew it look.'

"Jesus, those stupid, bloody games!" I snarled, thrusting my drink at Rei and storming through the throng of people to find Kai; screw this, I thought. This was one of those sorts of things I tried to keep separate in my mind, the part of me that realised inherently that Kai must kiss other people and well, do- things with them. But it wasn't something I actively thought of; it wasn't jealousy so much, more of a sort of wrongness, that Kai, my Kai just was there solely and purposefully for me- he didn't have an independent life away from me. We'd grown up together, fallen apart, been brought back closer together, closer then with anyone else, and yet here he was actively flouting this other self directly before me for all eyes to see. You know something? I really bugged me.

Perhaps, I thought, shouldering my way through the mass of unified movement, I was glad Kai had never invested in a long term relationship with someone else, eyes flicker from me to him, when we're together, I know he really doesn't seem like the laughing type, but Kai has one of those charming rare smiles that makes you feel like you are the only person in existence. I told him so once, and he just shrugged his shoulders in his faded leather jacket and told me, "Some people don't make me feel like smiling." Was his simple reply, there was a silence after he spoke, where he placed both hands in his pockets, I felt rather peculiar after he said that, and upon turning my head I noticed he was looking at me from beneath his incredibly long vulnerable lashes.

"Do you think I should smile more Tyson?"

Why does he always ask me things like this? As if I should have the answer, I can't even solve the questions I give myself, let alone answer all of his, and he asks me the oddest things sometimes, like, if I were to die tomorrow, what would I do with the last day I had- or do you believe in love at first sight, or even is there such as thing as a person you would die for. It's at times like these when he looks at me, strangely defenceless beneath feathery lashes, dark hair falling into intense eyes, his mouth slightly parted as if he's holding his breath for the answer, or trying not to breathe. I never quite know what he's thinking, I spend a lot of time looking for the answer, finding no words and then saying something stupid, and incoherent, and he always looks disappointed when I say it, even though I truly mean to help, he gets a peculiarly wounded look dipping through his eyes and then turns away. And I hate myself for that- truly, I really, really do.

And yet recently, he's been playing more of those games, yet in different ways, he doesn't say them anymore, other people do, the words fall from other people's lips- I know he's put the thought there, and it's lingered in their mind, festering and growing into a burning question that sears across their conscious thought. If he wants to stick his tongue down another person's throat then fine, do what you like Kai. I thought heatedly, as someone's torso collided with my back sending me tumbling towards the nearby wall, but don't drag me into it to; I don't want to know.

I spot him suddenly, in amongst a crowd of youths, centre of attention, regally so, arms folded, relaxed customary half amused expression sprawling over his lips.

His eyes flicker to mine and he gets that habitual half smile, like he's expected me, and I feel myself steam within my clothes, how dare he? How dare he treat me like this? Like some door mat to be stepped all over! That he can control and get to do what he wants even when I don't know what I'm doing or want to do is what he wants to do. Just thinking about the circle makes me livid.

"Kai!" I begin, shouting over the drum beat, he smiles fully now seeing the fury in my eyes and the youths glistening eyes all turn in my direction, I can see resentment and contempt on some of their faces, young girls and older men, and especially evocative youthful female reduces her mouth to a thin line of dislike.

"What took you?" he asked in smooth undertones, reaching out and taking my hand so he can pull me closer, he kisses me briefly on the lips as he always does, it's more of a conformation of property, Hillary once said to me in passing as she, Kenny and Max conversed at the oddity of Kai's regular greeting techniques when it came to Tyson.

'A formality,' as both she and Kenny had put it, 'like a hug to confirm your friendship, except more physically aggressive.'

Whatever it was it was hardly making me anymore popular, the girl with the compacted lips was glaring at me so hard I was sure my skull must be melting.

There was no tongue involved, but I did feel momentarily breathless as he drew away, linking his fingers through mine, I didn't really hear what it was that he said to the horde about him, but soon enough he was pulling gently and yet firmly at my arm as he cut a swathe through the crowd and headed towards the door.

It was only when we were both outside in the hallway going down the spiralling stair case that I stopped, my mind suddenly clicking from where ever it had been into reality, and I snatched my hand from his, and snapped "What the hell are you doing?"

Kai leaned against the banister, looking at me, his eyes glittering in the flickering hall light, "Didn't you want to go?" he questioned softly, "You weren't enjoying yourself at all, I could tell from thirty feet away."

I opened my mouth, floundered for words and then shut it again, wishing I could severely reprimand him for being so presumptuous and yet knowing he was right.

"I was-" I began knowing the blatancy of the lie, Kai actually laughed at me then, bracing both of his hands on the rail and tilting back his head so the under skin of his creamy neck was exposed to the limn shadows.

"You hate rap, you get drunk far to easily, and you're hot." He paused, "which always makes you irritable."

"I am not irritable!" I retorted ardently, only proving his point further as I blushed stupidly for words.

"Hrn," he replied, walking slowly down the stair, "besides it was no fun anyway, the people were all boring, didn't know how to dance."

"Did you dance with that red head?" I asked heatedly, coming after him, he gave me a brief glance over his shoulder and continued to descend without answering.

I followed after him.

"I said: Did you dance with her?"

"Yes."

"Oh." I don't know why, but it startled me somewhat, for him just to admit something like that so loosely, I know it sounds so simple, so innocent maybe, but I understood why it was now that girl had looked at me so frantically, twisting her hands over and over again. It's just- Kai- well to say he's a good dancer might be somewhat of an understatement, he sort of feels the music, the rhythm and the pulse, and he flows with it; heavy lidded, hips with your hips, arms against your arms, and then his torso twisting back and forth with pure sound as sinews in flesh.

It's sensual, a really corporeal way of dancing.

"Why did you ask her to tell me that?" I blurted out suddenly, he stopped by the glass front door of the building and looked up, his gaze so intense that I felt slightly afraid, like I'd hit a raw nerve.

"Boys or girls?" he said quietly, the door swung on its hinges but he didn't seem to notice."

"It depends on the person you are with, both are different…you know."

There was a pause in which neither of us spoke.

"Tyson, does that bother you?"

I admit here, I seemed to have lost my voice, I moved quickly past him and into the bracing night air of the concrete car park, where I stood shivering, my teeth chattering painfully inside my cheeks as I kept biting down on the question that was springing up in my mind.

Kai shrugged the jacket from his shoulders and threw it over to me; I caught it fumblingly with trembling hands as he produce a set of car keys from his back pocket.

"Hey, lets do something fun." I nodded numbly, it always ended up like this, and somehow I never questioned it, I always enjoyed myself more when I was alone with Kai then with anyone else.

"Somewhere warm p-preferably." I stuttered, Kai smirked and gave me a fringed side look, "If it's with me, you know it's gonna be hot."

I smiled, and shook my head, anything I thought, rather then this burning sensation gnawing at the pit of my stomach- and wondering what it was that it bothered me so very very much.

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	2. Chapter 2

Blind Faith

**Butterfly Psyche**

**Disclaimer**

Chapter two

The warm vibration of the car motor rubbed reassuringly against the soles of my feet as the car purred down the fast lane, lights flashing and colliding in a spectrum of colour as the vehicle flew down the dark tarmac. Kai fiddled with the radio station as we stopped at a red light, his intense eyes flickering to mine as the dial rotated from station to station, he let the music play for a moment, watching my reaction before pushing the dial forwards once again. The deep chords of a guitar struck through the air as he flicked from one station, raising his brows very slightly as I unconsciously opened my mouth in sudden approval, he gave me that half lazy smile again and turned the volume up, leaning back in the leather chair, his hand winding its way up through the open window to rest on the roof of the car, drumming his elegant fingers against the black metal.

It was uncanny how well he seemed to know me; we sat in perfect silence for more then half an hour, five years ago- doing this would have seemed to have been an impossibility for me- I who couldn't keep my mouth shut for more then an minute at a time. I know I used to intensely annoy Kai with it to- at times, I do admit I even did it on purpose to try and shatter that cool, calm presence that clings to him like a second skin. If I were to be truly honest with myself, I'd freely admit that I was a bit jealous of that inner calm to- it was certainly something which I seemed to be lacking in abundance; and it made me feel inadequate. I consoled myself for a while with the thought that Kai had less to say then I did, or he didn't observe as much as I did and comment on it. I was wrong about that too I found out; at what time I started communicating with Kai Hiwatari on a silent level I shall never know, the more time I spent with him, and the more natural the silence became. Not that I stopped talking altogether, he taught me how to express myself without using words.

I figured out after much hard contemplation on the perplexity of my team mate and Captain; that it was the way he bladed as well, watching people's movements, the way they spoke, the way their eyes would flicker from the blade to the dish, and in this way deciphering their next move.

He had a secret smile as well, something he expressed purely with his eyes on very rare occasions, when they would twinkle with such a startling passion that you felt totally breathless and weightless simultaneously.

"Kai," I said eventually, after another five minutes had extinguished itself into oblivion, he didn't turn his head, but only looked at me from the corner of his eyes beneath his enquiringly vulnerable lashes.

"Where are we going?"

He turned his attention back to the road and withdrew his other hand from the roof of the car and placed it on the wheel, rolling his digits across the hard leather encasement.

"Does it really matter?" came his gently enquiring reply- I'm not sure why he always answered my questions with yet another question; he seemed to enjoy doing it as well, lightly teasing the annoyed look that curved its way about my mouth and eyes.

"We have a press interview tomorrow, of course it matters Kai."

Not that that would put him off, when Hiwatari wanted to do something- he did it, without any regard for anyone or anything else.

"Relax." he soothed, pulling up the car into a back alley way and pulling down the hand brake; I pulled his leather jacket tighter about my narrow shoulders and felt my untidy hair drift into my eyes. My stomach felt horribly queasy as the motor died and we were left in total silence, that question and the red head kept rotating around and around in my brain, eating away at my subconscious. I didn't know if I was annoyed at myself, or with Kai for annoying me- or with the red head for having the impertinence to actually come over and ask me, or even the horde of people that had been mingling about Kai as I had approached him. Looking at me as if I were some sort of hideous tar creature from the ninth moon of Zeptar; not fit enough to breathe the same air as the beautiful youth they had been conversing with. And who were they anyway? They weren't his friends, they didn't know him, they wanted to know him, of course they did, I mean, who wouldn't? But they didn't understand or care about him in the way that I did- what right had that evocative female had to glower at me with that dislike simply because…

"Hey!" someone said sharply, and I started, blinking hard, finding my hands balled into small fists and nails digging brusquely into my palms. Hiwatari sat with his arm slung carelessly about the neck of the chair, brows descended slightly over his eyes as he regarded me carefully and annalistically, as though I was some specimen on display. The look annoyed me intensely, and I snapped crossly back "What?" my cheeks flushing slightly, realising how stupid I must have looked just now.

"Don't look like that," he said softly after a moment's pause in which I frowned scathingly back at him, "if you want to go home then we can go. I just thought you might want to have some fun tonight." There was a brief silence,

"Just you and me, you know?"

I wasn't quite sure if I did know, I certainly felt uncomfortable, and I licked my dry lips and squelched the nausea in my stomach, I hated that voice, it was impossible to stay mad at Kai when he used that voice.

"Just you and me?" I asked carefully, determinedly looking out of the window; it felt a bit weird asking that, like I was being unusually possessive, but I was so sick and tired of people coming up to me and asking me questions, and so exasperated with having to plough through all those multitude of people just so I could talk to him.

He gave me the lazy smile again, "I'm all yours for the evening I promise." I chuckled and he leant past me to retrieve something from the glove compartment, his warm upper torso pressing solidly against my chest, my heart beat a little faster as his hand unexpectedly touched mine as he drew back, from the shock of the sudden heat I think- I couldn't think of any other reason why it would thump so loudly all of sudden.

"Erhm- Kai? Where exactly are we?" I asked as we stepped from the black sub unto the iced pavement and Hiwatari firmly taking me by the elbow as I stood shivering in his jacket in the cold air; drew me down the alley way towards a door.

"You don't remember?" he questioned, looking down at me, his mouth suggesting nothing but his eyes scintillating with a light that I knew to be joking mockery, "Well you did get pretty stoned, so I'm not really surprised."

"I did not get stoned!" I snorted outraged at the very suggestion of it- perhaps it was a slight lie, I did have a peculiar weakness to any stimulant of any form or manner (give me caffeine and ten minutes later I hit the roof- I do not kid!), I get drunk after one glass of alcohol; and then violently sick afterwards and wake up with a splitting headache and an unspeakable hangover, with a tongue like mushed sand paper.

"And how would you know?" he replied, looking down on me with those God given lashes, "You just said you didn't remember."

He rapped on the door and gave me a long side look, "God, the things we did that night!"

"What things?" I asked quickly, knowing full well he was leading me on but following his bait anyway.

He placed both of his arms about my shoulders and pulled my head slightly back so I had to look directly up at him, yes, as I had suspected all along, his dark eyes were laughing at me, gently prodding and teasing me.

"Oh," he began mysteriously, "things I surely couldn't mention in a decent conversation. Things I'm sure even Rei would blush at- at that's saying something.

Especially when you just keep coming, and coming, and coming, and coming-"

I placed one cold finger against the heat of his lips, narrowing my eyes and said, in what I hoped was a stern voice, "You are just unforgivable do you know that? As well as vulgar, repulsive, manipulative-"

But I wasn't allowed to finish my sentence unfortunately, as Kai, visible laughing this time, nudged himself free of my silencing finger and leant down, placing his lips on mine, his long fingers brushing lightly against the back of my head, drawing me closer towards him.

When he pulled away, I'd totally forgotten what it was I was going to say, not only that, but I'd also stopped breathing, and had to take a great staggering breath, feeling very much a fool.

"You'd know I'd never let anything happen to you right?" he asked, after what seemed an endless realm of time and space, I nodded, I'd always inherently trusted him with everything. That's why it always hurt so much when he, on those rare occasions, let me down.

Before he could say anything else, the door opened, I couldn't quite make out in the darkness whom it was who was standing there, but Kai pulled away from me, and I felt suddenly cold once again, my flesh erupting into goose bumps, yearning for the warm press of his body against mine once more.

I didn't quite hear the words that they exchanged, I was only half aware of being tugged through the open door down another corridor and down a flight of metal stairs towards a massive basement floor where a heavy 'tha-dump' 'tha-dump' of a song beat was drilling through the slates on the floor and travelling up my legs, to settle, vibrating in my rib cage.

We stopped at a door flanked by two burly men, thick necked with broad chests who surreptitiously scanned me up and down and then turned their attention towards Kai, who said very coolly, "He's with me."

To my surprise they nodded us in; parting the doors to such a rush of load music pulsating lights, shadows and a sheer mass of people that made my head spin in conscious aggravation as Kai, firmly, but gently, his fingers intricately linked with mine pulled me through the doors into a cohesive swarm of individuals, moving and dancing, to the rhythm and the pulse.

"Kai!" I shouted over the noise, as Hiwatari shouldered his way very effectively to the dance floor, I silently marvelled at how he got people to step out of the way for him; maybe it was the difference in height that made heads swivel and eyes rove in his direction.

I felt, rather then noticed eyes flicker from me to him and felt the back of my neck begin to redden.

"What are we doing?"

He turned around as if I had asked the most insipid question he had ever heard- "Doing?" he shouted over the heavy beat, "Dancing can't you see?"

"Why?" He pulled an expression that indicated he couldn't hear me properly, and I moved tentatively forwards, towards him, conscious of the fact that people kept moving up closer together so that every once in a while, his arm would graze against mine, hips bumping against each other, his dark burning eyes never leaving mine.

I repeated the query, and he looked at me carefully for a moment, so that my gut juggled with nerves and the music beat to a delirious tempo in my head.

"You wanted to dance with me." he said simply, leaning down to whisper it into my ear, the room felt terribly hot, Kai slid his jacket from about my shoulder and pulled his arms through the sleeves as if he didn't feel the heat at all.

"I never-" I began, stumbling for words as the music rose and fell to a fervour;

"Yes you did." He interrupted; moving a little closer, he didn't touch me, he didn't need to, he raised his arms above his head and looked at me, head slightly tilted, eyes lazy and half closed again.

I opened my mouth and bit back the words that wanted to tumble forwards, questions like "Why?" and "How?" and also "What am I doing?" "What are we doing?" I wanted to say them, but I didn't, I couldn't- I was unable to, like I'd suddenly been stuck dumb, my tongue numbly sticking to the roof of my mouth.

He was dancing now, my brain had seemed to stop functioning on the conscious level, leaving only room for sound, senses and movement, my thoughts reeled like the erratic sound of the music we were listening to- dancing to, moving to.

It was a corporeal way of dancing I realised, as he placed both arms about my shoulders, loosening me up considerably, lowering his head to press his face against my neck. Dumb manipulation, and a puppet I may have been but at that point I didn't- couldn't care. I lost myself in sound and movement, and senses I hadn't quite been sure I had had until that particular moment.

"And you said," his tones were low and sinuous, pressing against my temple as he raised his mouth to talk into my ear, "you never wanted to dance."

How he'd known that fact, I thought turning my head to his and seeing the poised expression lingering in his lips and eyes, I'd worry about later, much later.

I didn't want to worry about anything right now, I didn't really want even to think- just for a brief moment, trapped in a singular expanse of time I forgot the nagging question, the obsession and the worry, and just let him dance with me.

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A/N thank you for reading- not a one shot as you can see hopefully a lot more chapters to come…(falls asleep at the computer).


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